Firewhisky on the Rocks

It’s Nearly Orgasmic, I Swear.

True bliss: The sound as you rip a giant stack of notes right down the middle after finishing a final.

One down, two to go.

holymotherofrowling:

you know how bella swan’s thoughts are supposed to be at a ~different wavelength~ than everyone elses because she’s such a special unique snowflake

why couldn’t that have translated to her voice being at an unintelligible wavelength too?

then she could be like that lonely whale in the ocean and no one could hear her talk

the story improves about 10000000x when she can’t talk

My Five-Step Program to Being One Classy Bitch During Finals Week

Step One: Order a mocha.

Step Two: Drink mocha.

Step Three: Wait two hours, then pee.

Step Four:  Smell espresso wafting from the toilet.

Step Five: Crave a mocha.

Rinse and repeat.

At least, until dead from caffeine overdose or finals stress, whichever hits first.

Thank. Fucking. GOD.

My Japanese professor guaranteed me a passing grade.  I’ve missed three weeks of the quarter, thanks to my amazing ability to mentally turn a case of the sniffles into a stay-in-bed-for-a-week affair.  I sent her an email, fessing up and asking if there was any way to pass the class, since it’s one of the foundation classes for one of my majors, even though the syllabus explicitly states that enough points should be deducted for my absences to fail me at this point.

And what does she say when I finally show up in class today?  “You had a B, and could have gotten it to an A through the final.  Now, the best I’ll be able to give you is a C- to get you into the next class. I think that’ll be enough of a lesson.”

I thought I was going to faint or cry or fall to my knees in front of her, or some combination of all three, I was so relieved. 

This woman just circumvented her own syllabus and policies to save my ass, and she’s rescued me from an extra year of college and another $10,000 in debt, just because I’m ‘a good student and I want to continue to study, and denying me that isn’t how she is.’ 

My professor deserves a sainthood.  And I’m going to study my fucking ass off and ace this final, even though I’ll never have another class with her, just to prove she wasn’t making a mistake by guaranteeing me one of the very limited spaces in the next class.

I’m still shaking with relief.  She may have meant for my grade drop to be what taught me a lesson, but the sheer terror I felt when I was wondering if I’d even pass, if I’d have to start all over again next year, if I’d have to drop out and go home with my head hung low… The heart-stopping relief and gratitude I felt when she made a simple decision to act on kindness… That’s where the real lesson I’ve learned came from.

Never be ungrateful for even the smallest kindnesses in life, or be afraid to hand them out yourself.  Sometimes, one simple choice really is all it takes to change someone’s life.

Dear people who don’t obsess over tv shows, books, movies, or celebrities…

nicoosuxx:

What exactly do you do all day?

(Source: saraabigale)